I don’t often share sports stories but this one goes far beyond sports. Luis Suarez is a national hero in Uruguay. He’s also a divisive figure in professional soccer, having bit two opposing players. When he was 15 it was believed he was suspended for head butting an official. From Wright Thompson at ESPN:

No soccer player in the world provokes such a strong emotional response as Liverpool’s striker, with less of an understanding of what lurks beneath the surface. His recent injury, which puts his World Cup fitness into doubt, makes him more intriguing. Yet knowing Suarez is difficult, since he seems to not know himself, and, regardless, he wouldn’t talk to me. The best path to that knowledge would have to be a journey through his past, looking for clues. That was the plan: talk to people who knew him and let their memories paint a picture. Those who met him during his early years, especially the first person he ever assaulted, might offer slivers of insight. So in addition to visiting Suarez’s mother, friends and neighbors, I wanted to sit down with the referee.

Only I couldn’t find him.

It’s a mystery story wrapped in a sports story wrapped up in a psychological drama. Go read it.

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By the way, I heard about this story from Slugball, a daily email that sends me the best in sports stories. If you are interested in sports and haven’t signed up for the free newsletter yet, you should. Matt Hughes is a great guy and I look forward to helping him expand Slugball’s web presence and capabilities in the near future.

I don’t write about sports very often so forgive my dalliance today. This is as much about society as it is about the NFL. There’s a football player named Josh Gordon who plays for the Cleveland Browns. Word leaked the end of last week that he had been busted for marijuana in his system and, due to his past history, may be kicked out of the NFL for an entire season.

I’ve been thinking about this all weekend and find the whole situation ridiculous. Why?

• Marijuana is decriminalized at some level (decriminalized, medical use or unrestricted) in 26 states plus Washington, DC. This is more than half the country by number of states and far more than half the country by population. Gordon, who works in Ohio, is in a state where it has been decriminalized.
• In the NFL the reality of head injuries means, likely, that any player could find a doctor who is willing to give him a medical marijuana waver.
• Marijuana is fully legal in two states that have NFL teams, Colorado (Denver Broncos) and Washington (Seattle Seahawks).

We are talking about a bunch of very wealthy young men who have nothing but time on their hands right now. It would be no problem for any of them to hop on an airplane to a legal state, buy some weed and smoke it, then fly home. Weed stays in the system for weeks after ingesting it, far longer than cocaine and other drugs.

This whole thing jumps off the rails for me way too fast. Why is the NFL policing pot use but it never seems players are busted for steroids? It is impossible to believe that many NFL players are not juicing.

Why police marijuana to begin with? What the NFL should care about is one team getting a competitive advantage versus another. Can anyone credibly claim that smoking pot gives players an advantage? If anything it would seem to be the opposite.

Why does the NFL bust players for pot but the NBA and MLB don’t seem to. I can’t think of a case where a basketball or baseball player was busted for pot or any other drug that was not performance enhancing. (Update: I found out after writing this that the NFL does not test for the steroid HGH but does test for pot. That makes no sense at all.)

Why does the NFL think it should be a more important governing body than state and federal government? On last reading I didn’t see the NFL listed in the Constitution as having unalienable rights.

How is the NFL going to handle legality of pot usage in different states? If you play for Denver or Seattle players can smoke but in other states they can’t?

And why is this not being discussed among writers and others as an issue that major sports leagues, including the NFL, needs to deal with?

I know the counter-argument: the NFL has the right to do what it wishes with its own employees, just like any company can choose to drug test and fire employees who violate its policies. But there are at least three huge differences here: 1) the NFL is a monopoly. It’s not like these players have a choice to go play somewhere else that doesn’t have the policy. They can’t shop their skills to the highest bidder. This is more akin to the tech industry deciding for all participating companies that employees caught with pot in their systems will be banned; 2) he is not an employee of the Cleveland Browns nor the NFL. He is an entertainer hired on contract. And right now he is not required to perform; 3) companies fire employees for failed drug tests. The NFL isn’t firing him; it’s putting him on probation for a season.

The NFL (and all sports leagues) is going to have to come to terms with this and soon. For better or worse, it is clear that more states will legalize pot. (There’s too much tax revenue available by doing so.) It’s one thing for a team to punish a player who shows up high to practice or a game; it’s another to punish said player for doing what is legal. In the next few years, many states will start treating marijuana like alcohol. Wouldn’t it make more sense for the NFL to be out in front on this issue?

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So you know the person behind the writing, I have mixed feelings about legalizing marijuana and have to admit that if I was czar of Oregon, I’d have the state wait a few years for Washington and Colorado to work out the kinks and discover the problems.

I also have concerns regarding the impact for our under-25 crowd. I’m concerned that that group will find it less of an issue to smoke if it is legal. Those effects , especially for those under 25, are not good.

Personally, I’ve never smoked pot although I have been around plenty of it in my lifetime. My decision to not smoke has nothing to do with its legality, although it might have when I was 16.

Earlier this morning I tweeted the following:

Who said invention was easy? Oh, right. No one. Damn.

Then I read a great article from Horace Dediu about innovation illiteracy, something he coins as innoveracy. Horace said,

Rather than defining it again, I propose using a simple taxonomy of related activities that put it in context.

• Novelty: Something new
• Creation: Something new and valuable
• Invention: Something new, having potential value through utility
• Innovation: Something new and uniquely useful

To illustrate, here are some examples of the concepts.

• Novelties: The choice of Gold as a color for the iPhone; the naming of a version of Android as “Kit Kat”; coining a new word.
• Creations: The fall collection of a fashion designer; a new movie; a blog post.
• Inventions: Anything described by a patent; The secret formula for Coca Cola.
• Innovations: The iPhone pricing model; Google’s revenue model; The Ford production system; Wal-Mart’s store design; Amazon’s logistics.

I thought this a rather unique approach and was very happy to see that I had used the right word. Equals is an invention right now. With more time, I’m hoping it will prove an innovation as well.

Men, you should know this already. Women, if you didn’t before, you will now. This is important so please read the entire thing. There are rules to using a urinal.

• Rule #1: If you can help it, don’t stand directly next to anyone.
• Rule #2: Eyes straight ahead or down. Especially never look at the person next to you.
• Rule #3: Don’t talk to your neighbor. Importantly, don’t make any noise you can help.

The rules of urinal use are extremely important and implicitly understood by every male on the planet. Knowing these rules may be more important to your future than knowing how to read and write [1]. Rule #1 is a cardinal rule. It is to never be broken. Always leave an empty urinal between you and the next person if you can help it. Sometimes this doesn’t work out. Crowded sporting events rarely offer such openness at the urinal, for instance, and if there are only two then you have no choice. In these cases it is acceptable to take an adjoining urinal.

Rule #2 may be more important than Rule #1. Never ever look around. Never. Ever. Some men’s rooms are kind enough to put a newspaper on the wall, giving you something to look at while peeing. Otherwise, study the water patterns on the piping or make sure you aren’t splashing. But whatever you do, don’t let your eyes wander.

Rule #3 is critical, too. It is not the right time to ask about the weather or the time. If you started a conversation before stepping up to the urinal, stop until you have finished. In fact, while at the urinal, stay as quiet as you can. No clearing of the throat or other bodily noises, if you can. No one wants to hear it.

I used to think these rules only applied in the men’s room but have since realized that these rules apply to other situations as well. As an example, this weekend I was busy doing my workout on the elliptical machine. There was no one in the place and I picked a machine near the end of a row of 12 machines. About 40 minutes into my workout some woman came and TOOK THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE RIGHT NEXT TO ME. What the hell was she thinking? There were 10 other machines she could have picked, none of which would have been right next to me, and she picked machine #11!? WTF!

To top it off, she spent the next 20 minutes clearing her throat every 10 seconds. Not only did this lady break Rule #1 but she also destroyed Rule #3. It was a miserable workout.

I can only assume, as a woman who doesn’t use urinals, she was not aware of these rules. So I thought it appropriate, as a public service announcement, to post them here. Now you know. There are no excuses next time.

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[1] I’m not kidding. Not knowing how to read and write won’t get you punched in the face.